I’m single, and my new favorite sex toy is a vibrating ring for couples—here’s how I use it

It doesn’t take a degree in marketing to discern that I, a very single vulva-owner who generally doesn’t enjoy P-in-V penetration, am not the target buyer for the Lelos Tor 2, which is advertised as a “couples’ vibrating ring.” But when the rumbly ring showed up at my door, I decided to get creative and see how I could make it work for me.

I got started with the Lelo Tor 2 the same way I get started with any new toy (or heck, any person) I bring to my bed: by getting acquainted first. I stroked it, squeezed it, learned its unique crevices and curves, and then spent tested out its different intensities and patterns.

Nowadays it’s not hard to find a vibrator with plenty of vibration settings, like the Le Wand Point and Ora 2. But I think the range of intensity between the lowest setting and highest setting is a better indicator of versatility than the sheer number of settings. I was pleasantly surprised by the difference in experience I could feel within Tor 2’s six settings that range in sensation between teasing murmur and intense pulse.

To use it solo, I first adjusted it to its lowest setting, then applied some lubricant, and then pinched the flexibly round product and brought the vibrating part against my vulva.

To use it solo, I first adjusted it to its lowest setting, then applied some lubricant, and then pinched the flexibly round product and brought the vibrating part against my vulva. But then—then!—I had a genius idea: I slipped two of my own fingers through the ring, draped my hand over my panties, and did truly nothing else in order to come. Cheers to working smarter not harder. The second time I used the Tor 2, I slid the device down the base of a dildo and used it externally. And, well, that worked, too.

Lelo Tor 2
Photo: Amazon

Shop now: Lelo Tor 2, $127

Why you should try the Lelo Tor 2

Smaller than an AirPods case and incredibly easy to operate (it only has two buttons: a plus sign on one side and minus side on the other, for controlling intensity), this toy is as un-intimidating as pleasure products get. It even comes in forest green, dark purple, and black, which are refreshingly subtle hues for sex toys.

And, despite its intent for partnered sex (and couples that include at least one penis, no less), the Lelo Tor 2 can be used just as any other finger vibrator or external vibrator for masturbation. Or, you might try using it as a clitoral vibrator during penetrative partnered sex (because it’s non-obtrusive, you can use it to stimulate your clitoris without having to physically create more space between you and your partner’s body).

And, of course, if your partner has a penis and/or enjoys strapping on, you also use the toy as it was intended, which is as a cock ring. To make the most of its traditional function, pleasure-expert and Lelo brand manager Stuart Nugent recommends playing with the direction of the toy. “You can flip it up so that it targets your clit, or you can flip it down and let the vibrating part target the testicles of the partner with a penis.” Depending on what setting you use, the vibrations can travel through their shaft and into your body during penetration, he says, essentially turning your partner into a consenting human sex toy.

And since the Lelo Tor 2 is a cock ring, when worn around the base of a penis, it will “restrict blood flow, make the penis harder, and prolong erection,” Nugent says. So, if your partner has trouble maintaining an erection or tends to finish before you do, using this type of product may help get you both on the same timeline.

While no sex toy is one size or sensation fits all, with all its functions, the Lelo Tor 2 certainly tries—officially intended or not. So I’d say odds are good that you’ll find some way to make use of this four-in-one toy if you give it a shot.

Another way you might use the Lelo Tor 2? While pegging. And if you enjoy external vibration, there’s another vibrator you should try instead: the Dame Arc.

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