Resolutions for 2020
I might as well copy and paste this goal on all my future New Year’s resolutions lists because it’s been a goal for years and let’s be honest, it’s a lifetime project. Mindfulness isn’t something I can achieve, or a state in which I’ll magically arrive; it’s a practice. A daily one. An hourly one. A minute-by-minute, second-by-second one. I must remember this: when I think it’s too hard or my mind is just too scattered or I don’t have time, that’s when I need it most.
Books are food for the soul, but similar to my on-again/off-again relationship with compulsive eating, I’m either reading constantly or not reading at all (except for the articles I read on my phone). This year I’d like to carve out time each day and week to read a book because I enjoy it. And hey, they say if you want to become a better writer you should read more, so there’s that, too.
Get better sleep.
I might be in my bed for 7-8 hours most nights, but considering that I wake up exhausted every morning, I don’t know how restful or restorative it really is. For one, I wake up between 3 and 6 times to pee, which is just as crazy as it is infuriating. I’m going to try to cut off liquid a few hours before bed…maybe at 6:30 or 7 and see if that helps. I’m also going to try to wean off of Unisom. During my pregnancy with James I started taking Unisom (along with vitamin b6) to help with nausea. I don’t know if it helped with the nausea, but it did help me sleep—so much that I have kept on taking it every night for the past two years…yikes. Maybe I’ll never solve sleep, but I can improve it I’m sure.
Be accepting of the time I spend organizing, sorting, decluttering…
All of these things sound productive, yes, but they’re not always the most productive way I could be spending my time. And trust me, I have spent years reprimanding myself for doing my little tidying jobs when I could or should be writing. “Stop procrastinating!” I’d scream at myself. What I’ve come to realize, though, is that the time I spend cleaning/organizing is also when I feel the most “flow,” and the most peace internally. So I have to ask myself—of all the things I do that aren’t exactly “good” for me, is it so bad that I just love house projects? I’m certain someone could argue YES (heck I’ve taken that stance for years!) and it’s only left me feeling guilty and down on myself, so this year I’ll try taking the other side of the argument, that maybe I should allow for—and even nurture—the “unproductive” things I do that make me feel at peace and in order.
What do you resolve to do in 2020?